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The Tally Ho

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

The State of My Life

First, hello Dustin. It's been a long time since beer and the blasphemy that was "society and war in the human experience."

Second, some banter on my life. Steve posted a bit about not knowing what to do. Well, as I sit in my flat in Paris, I find myself living two separate lives that don't mix with one another. On one end, I have a very nice life at home in the States with a large group of friends, a supportive family, and a promising career. Along with this comes much safety and security of the known variables of life and what my destiny would be if I were to stay there. In some ways, I feel a bit pressured by both my family and my friends to stay in the States and live the quiet, normal life that they all dream of. Admittedly, it's not a bad life--one of cookouts, cold beer, family, friends, career success. However, the other end of the spectrum appeals to me more. I love being in Paris. And, if not in Paris, I love Europe. London, Paris, Geneva--wherever I can find work. To make matters more complicated, I have fallen in love with a French woman. That, too, muddies the proverbial water a bit. So, now I brace myself by searching endlessly for a job in the EU (which, if you don't know, is a daunting task as the EU has a hiring freeze on non-EU citizens) and trying to find a way to get back across the ocean to my European home. However, to complicate things further, I have no yet completed my studies. Because I am an idiot and decided that three undergraduate majors would be a good idea, I have a full year of school left back home at university after I graduate in Paris in July. So, I have 3.5 months left in Paris, 10 months in the States while maintaining a trans-Atlantic relationship, and then finding a means to return to Europe--whether through work or through school while separating myself from my old friends and trying to explain to my family what MY life is supposed to be about. I don't look forward to my return to the States. I have to re-adjust to the Midwest and try to explain to my friends that I can't live like them anymore and then explain to my friends and family that I am returning to Europe less than a month after graduation. It's going to be a long, long 13 months. That is the state of my life. Any suggestions?



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